(Be Advised: Sensitive Topics)
To truly understand who I am—and why I carry such a heart for women—you have to understand where I came from.
No filters, no hiding, no judgment.
Just truth.
This is me.
I grew up in a broken family, in a childhood that was often marked by chaos, unpredictability, and abuse. Addiction lived in my home. There were dangerous situations, broken promises, and nights that no child should have had to endure.
Throughout my teen years, I was shuffled into doctors’ offices and treated like a medical guinea pig—told my pain was imagined, self-inflicted, or simply “a girl thing” I’d outgrow.
Before I turned 13, I had tried to take my own life three times.
I lied to people who loved me most, not because I didn’t love them, but because I was hurting so deeply inside that I didn’t know how else to explain the pain.
As a young woman, I carried those wounds with me.
I married early, determined to be the opposite of what I’d seen at home, only to repeat mistakes I swore I’d never make. The marriage ended quickly.
I struggled with love, fell too hard, and lost myself in the process, more than once.
But here’s the truth: I had already accepted God into my heart at the age of 11.
I was His, even when I stumbled. I knew when I was walking down the wrong path, and the shame and guilt of those choices weighed heavily on me.
Yet God.
God met me in my lowest places. He forgave me, again and again. He extended mercy when I couldn’t forgive myself. He walked beside me as I processed, broke, healed, and rose again.
He gave me a family. He made me a mom—something I wanted yet was terrified of, knowing what I’d experienced growing up.
He opened doors I never would have asked Him to open, because I didn’t even know what to ask for.
And the thing is—this isn’t just a story of what God did in one moment of my life.
It’s the story of how He was there all along.
His protection and His timing were written into even the darkest parts of my childhood.
By all odds, I shouldn’t be here—or at least not in one piece. But He kept me.
He protected me during drug deals where I was hidden in the backseat of a car. He shielded me in dive bars and dangerous apartments. He spared me from being in the car during a drunk driving accident that could have taken my life. All of this, before the age of four.
He placed my dad in my life—the one who raised me, who did his best to protect and provide, who taught me the Ten Commandments when I was six. Years later, that same teaching came full circle when he was able to pass them on to his grandson at the very same age.
He gave me friends who were lifelines through some of my hardest seasons. He also removed people who would have destroyed me, even when I didn’t understand it at the time.
I wasn’t perfect—not even close—after I accepted Christ. I was like precious art, still in pieces, that He patiently kept putting back together even as I kept knocking it off the pedestal. It took time before I stopped tripping over the same mistakes.
But He never gave up on me.
And here’s what humbles me most: He saw me as worth it.
He created me for more, for a purpose, and He refused to let my story end in brokenness.
He pruned me, restored me, and molded me into a living testimony.
Now, when I look back, I can honestly say I’m grateful.
Not that I deserved the pain, not that I wish the mistakes on myself again—but grateful that God used them to give me empathy, perspective, and a story that can reach others.
I’ve been able to share my testimony with teenage girls who desperately needed to know someone understood.
I’ve been able to connect with women from all different walks of life—because I’ve lived through trauma, burnout, mistakes, and failure, and I know what perseverance looks like on the other side.
I still face transitions and learning curves. But now I know—they’re shaping me for purpose. They’re meant to be used for teaching, for helping, for showing others that survival and perseverance are possible.
And for that, I will praise Him every single day.
My Annual Birthday Retreat: Reflect, Reset, and Reconnect
Last year, I started a new tradition — one that’s quickly become my favorite: taking the reins for my own birthday and planning a solo retreat.
For me, birthdays have always felt like a personal “new year.” Each one naturally prompts me to look back — not just at what I’ve accomplished, but at who I’ve become from one age to the next. I’ve never been big on January resolutions; that time is reserved for our annual marriage retreat and family planning for the year ahead (you can read more about that here).
But my birthday? That’s for me — a time to pause, reflect, and realign.
Why I Take a Birthday Retreat
The past two years, I’ve kept things simple with a local staycation. It’s just easier to balance — my husband can still work, our son can stay in his normal school routine, and I can fully unplug without adding travel stress.
Last year was a one-night stay; this year, I gave myself two.
And while I could absolutely see a destination trip in the future, for now, this rhythm works beautifully.
The goal of my birthday retreat is simple: to reset, reflect, pray, and vision cast.
(Still working on a good acronym for that one — open to suggestions!)
Reset: Rest and Reconnect
Resetting means slowing down enough to remember who I am outside of all the roles I play.
This year’s reset included:
- Multiple workouts (because movement helps me think)
- Hours of writing by the pool
- Good food and mindful eating
- Early nights and real sleep
I stopped by one of my favorite coffee shops, lived off Cava and Crisp & Green grain bowls (again), and treated myself to sushi for my birthday dinner — a restaurant that’s definitely not kid-friendly, so this was my night.
I didn’t miss church, barely touched my phone, and only talked to my guys to say goodnight. It was the best version of unplugging I could come up with — and it worked.
Reflect & Pray: Finding Gratitude and Grace
Reflection and prayer always take me on a wild ride of gratitude, conviction, and encouragement.
Every year, I’m reminded of how much God has moved — in ways I couldn’t have orchestrated myself — and how much more there still is to do together.
I spent hours journaling, praying, and praising. I let silence be my company. And as uncomfortable as it can feel, it gave me the margin to just be — to let my thoughts settle, to listen, and to get curious again.
Reflection always reveals two things for me:
- The growth that came from the hardest parts.
- The grace that carried me when I didn’t see it.
Vision Casting: Seeing the Next Season
Last year, vision casting was hard. I was still grieving the loss of my mom (August 2024), and it was difficult to think too far ahead. My retreat that year became more about healing than planning. That’s also why I extended it this year — I wanted space for whatever emotions came up and the freedom to dream again.
This time, I came prepared.
I brought:
- Two 3x4 fabric boards
- Two “vision board idea” books filled with photos and inspiration
- A handful of faith-based stickers from a local bookstore
- My current and past journals
- A new planner that helped me break down 1–20 year goals into quarterly steps
And because I never know where inspiration will take me, I also packed my content planner, sketch pad, laptop, books, pens, and highlighters.
At 7:30 that night, after dinner, I spread everything out across the bed: my vision board supplies, journals, and planner. I started cutting out anything that sparked inspiration and categorizing it. Then, I began jotting down goals — short-term and long-term — and asking myself, Who do I need to become to make these happen?
Before I knew it, it was 2:30 a.m., and I felt both exhausted and full — satisfied with what I’d created and the clarity it gave me.
The next morning, during my quiet time, I looked at the board and could see the life I was praying for. There’s something powerful about being able to visually witness the person you’re becoming — and the life you’re building.
Each Year Looks Different
Last year, I felt a weight lift the moment I got in the car to leave. I had been carrying so much — emotions, responsibilities, and invisible pressure — and for the first time in a long time, I felt release.
This year was different. The relief was replaced by clarity.
I wasn’t running from anything; I was running toward something.
I felt grounded, motivated, and free to let things unfold naturally.
It’s funny — each year has its own theme, its own rhythm. I can’t help but wonder what next year will hold.
Why I Celebrate Myself
These retreats started as a way to take the expectations off others — no waiting to see how my birthday would be celebrated, no disappointment if it wasn’t.
It’s not about isolation; it’s about intention.
I wanted to celebrate myself on purpose.
I’ve always made birthdays a big deal for my son — because his life is worth celebrating. So why wouldn’t I show him that mine is, too?
Our lives are a gift. I want him to see that celebrating your own existence isn’t selfish — it’s gratitude in action.
I’m glad he’s here.
And I’m glad I am, too. 💛 Here’s to 36!! 🥂
3 Ways to Reshape Your Schedule for More Margin + Freedom
Are you tired of the way things are and just want to change everything right now—but have no idea where to begin?
Let me tell you something: the moment you started to notice that something isn’t working anymore, that’s the first pivotal step. That’s the breakthrough. A shift has happened—maybe subtle, maybe loud—but it’s there. You're craving something different: more purpose, less chaos; more freedom, fewer to-do lists; more margin, and a whole lot less hustle.
And when that shift happens—in my life or in the lives of my clients—we always start with the same thing:
Time.
Time.
Because that’s where the tug is, right?
You feel like there’s never enough of it. The to-do list grows faster than laundry piles after a beach day. And how many times have you thought:
“If I just had more time, I’d finally…” fill in the blank.
But even when a window of time magically opens up, something else jumps in to steal it before you even notice.
Here’s the truth:
Time feels slippery, but we all have the same 24 hours in a day and 7 days in a week. No one’s hiding bonus hours in a secret vault. No one’s hoarding rollover minutes from Father Time. What we do have is the opportunity to manage it differently. There’s no redo, no rewind—but there is today. And today, you can choose to make the next day look different than the one before it.
Time feels slippery, but we all have the same 24 hours in a day and 7 days in a week. No one’s hiding bonus hours in a secret vault. No one’s hoarding rollover minutes from Father Time. What we do have is the opportunity to manage it differently. There’s no redo, no rewind—but there is today. And today, you can choose to make the next day look different than the one before it.
So we start with your schedule.
Not to cram more in—but to create space. Room to breathe. Time to be. That’s where margin and freedom are found.
But First—Let’s Get One Thing Straight
Yes, God is in ultimate control. I’m not saying we can time-manage our way out of needing Him. Start with prayer. Always. But also understand this: God opens and closes doors, but He expects us to get up and walk through them.
If we keep sitting on our hands, waiting for things to magically shift without doing our part, we stay stuck. When we show up—not hustling for worth, but working from rest—He’ll guide us. He’ll highlight what needs to shift. And yes, you’ll be amazed by how much lighter life feels when your schedule finally aligns with your purpose.
Let’s break this down into 3 practical time management strategies that have made all the difference for me and my clients.
1. Batching
This is where you group similar tasks together and knock them out in one dedicated block of time.
Listen—multitasking feels productive, especially for moms. But science says otherwise. We’re not superhuman (although I know it seems like we are on paper). Jumping between tasks burns mental energy and decreases quality. Batching helps you stay focused, get in the zone, and actually finish what you start.
Whether it’s content creation, household chores, or business emails—batch it up. You’ll be shocked at how much smoother things flow.
*For more on Batching, I did a whole post on this specific technique because I love it so much. Check it out here: Batching & Boundaries: The Secret Combo to Reclaiming Your Peace (and Your Schedule))
2. Time Blocking
Time blocking is just assigning specific tasks to specific chunks of your day.
You’re already doing this when you pencil in a doctor’s appointment—but this strategy levels that up. Instead of reacting to your day, you’re designing it with purpose.
This might look like:
- 9–10 AM: Client follow-ups
- 10–11 AM: Project work
- 11–12 PM: Creative writing
- 12–1 PM: Lunch + rest
It’s like giving your brain a map. Less decision fatigue = more peace.
3. The Pomodoro Technique
This one is perfect if your attention span is fried (raising my own hand here).
Here’s how it works:
- 25 minutes of focused work
- 5-minute break
- Repeat x4
- Then take a longer 15–30 minute break
These microbursts of effort give your brain a chance to reset—and honestly, 25 minutes of laser focus can move mountains. I use those breaks for quick chores, deep breaths, or bathroom runs. (Let’s be real.)
Time Batching = Batching + Blocking Together
Now, here’s where the magic happens.
You combine batching and blocking—hello, Time Batching!
Here’s how I do it: I gave ChatGPT my daily routines, family blocks, work windows, and weekly goals. It helped me build a personalized schedule that reflects my real life. For example, it knows that on Mondays–Wednesdays I work from 10 AM–2:45 PM. It helped me break those hours into focused sections with intentional breathing room in between.
Yes, it takes tweaking. But once you get into a groove, it flows.
Pro tip: Use AI as a tool—not a boss. It’s here to lighten your load, not dictate your life.
One More Thing: Drop the All-or-Nothing Mindset
This is not going to be perfect.
If you try batching tomorrow and the day goes sideways, don’t throw your hands up and say “Well, that didn’t work.” It’s not about perfection—it’s about intention. Grace over grind, always.
Even now, most of my days don’t go exactly according to plan. But the difference? I’m no longer drowning in overwhelm. I’m no longer short-tempered or feeling like everything is an interruption.
Because I’ve taken back control. And you can too.
Say It With Me:
"No more.
That is no longer me.
I choose freedom.
I am in control of my schedule.
I create the very thing that has felt out of reach for too long.
I choose different—today."
That is no longer me.
I choose freedom.
I am in control of my schedule.
I create the very thing that has felt out of reach for too long.
I choose different—today."
You’ve got this, girl. You are a powerhouse. Your family is watching—and you’re leading by example.
Ready to take the next step?
Shoot me a message on socials or an email and tell me where you are starting to take the reins—I’d love to cheer you on.
Here’s to more margin, more joy, and the freedom you’ve been craving.
~Kayla 💙
Every year we’re gifted opportunities to learn— Some of these lessons came from hard seasons. Some from little everyday moments. And others from the quiet ways God showed me He was still writing my story.
As I gain another year, I can honestly say my life has been full of twists, heartbreaks, breakthroughs, and forgiveness. Along the way, some lessons have shaped who I am as a woman, mom, wife, friend, and coach.
Here are 36 lessons I’ve learned at 36.
Faith & Identity
1. God’s timing is better than my timeline.
2. Your worth isn’t found in work or titles.
3. Everyone grieves and heals differently—it’s always a process.
4. Your thoughts shape your reality—for better or worse.
5. Saying “no” is often the most respectful answer.
Your dreams are valid, even if others don’t see them.
Faith and identity are the foundation I keep coming back to. I’ve tried to control timelines and what trying to predict what will happen next, only to learn that God’s timing and wisdom has always been better than mine. Titles fade and jobs change, but worth is unshakable. Healing has taught me that grief looks different for everyone, and so does recovery. And the more I protect my thoughts and dreams—saying “no” when I need to—the more peace I find in walking out my purpose.
Boundaries & Balance
7. Balance isn’t about equal weight—it’s about priorities aligned with your values.
8. Rest is productive and necessary.
9. Busyness does not equal proactive.
10. Margin allows you to breathe.
Create + honor healthy boundaries. You have a right to what you need and what is right for you and yours. It won’t be accepted by everyone, but it’s not their life—it’s yours.
Balance isn’t about juggling it all perfectly. It’s about aligning what I do with what actually matters. Rest has become non-negotiable, and margin—the little spaces where I can breathe—keeps me sane. Boundaries have been the hardest but most life-giving lessons: they’re not about pushing people away but protecting what matters most.
Motherhood & Family
11. Mom guilt is a liar.
12. My son doesn’t need supermom—he needs a present one.
13. Marriage takes intentionality, not autopilot.
14. It’s okay to parent differently than others.
15. Marriage/Parenting is a team effort.
16. Blood makes you related, it does not make you family. (But sometimes it’s nice to know there are people who didn’t forget about you on either side.)
Motherhood has been the greatest teacher. Guilt used to sit heavy on me, but I’ve learned it’s a lie. Conditioning by the world that says I need to do and be all the things a certain way. My son doesn’t need perfect; he needs me, present and authentic. Marriage, too, doesn’t thrive on autopilot—it needs intention. We run our household like a team. There is not one “job” that the other can’t do or help with or cover.
I’ve had a lot of differences of opinion, distance, and disappointment around my blood ties but after many years, it’s nice to know that some are still there to fall back on or never really left. I also know that chosen/gifted family can shatter any ceiling of love you were ever taught.
Resilience & Perseverance
17. Trauma doesn’t disqualify you—it shapes you.
18. Failing is necessary. What you learn from it is where you succeed.
19. Perseverance is sometimes just the next small step.
20. Systems done right equal freedom.
21. Perfectionism is the lowest standard you can have for yourself. It’s unachievable. You’re setting yourself up for failure.
Resilience isn’t born in big, heroic moments—it’s built one decision at a time. Trauma tried to define me, but it ended up shaping me. Failure? It’s a necessary teacher. Perseverance is just trained persistence. And I’ve learned that healthy systems in life and business actually create freedom. Perfectionism, though, steals it—it’s an impossible standard that sets you up to fail before you begin. When we fear making a mistake, we won’t even try or we will self-sabotage so we never see failure.
Work & Career
22. Careers are fleeting, but “Mom” lasts forever.
23. You can build from scratch more than once.
24. Success without peace is not success.
25. “High-capacity” doesn’t mean doing it all—it means being able to focus on what matters most.
I used to chase titles and promotions, but careers shift and fade. The title that has mattered most is “Mom.” Every moment as a mom, I will never get back, but those memories will follow both us forever. I’ve also learned that building from scratch isn’t a failure—it’s proof of resilience. Success without peace is not success at all. And being “high-capacity” isn’t about doing everything, it’s about focusing on what matters most.
Friendship & Community
26. Intentional friendships are worth the effort.
27. Vulnerability does not make you weak—it shows you were worth an attack and builds resilience.
28. You don’t need a big circle—just a trusted one. The right friendships not only teach you to be a better friend, they support you, and both sides are all in when life gets hard, even when it’s at the same time.
29. My home is my safe haven. Treat it as such. You have every right to state what you do and don’t need.
30. Comparison is a lie. You see through a jaded perception when you look at someone else’s grass.
Friendships in adulthood take work and understanding, but the right ones are worth every bit of it. Vulnerability showed me I am a threat and that it’s a secret weapon. There is not one My home is where I protect my peace, where I find rest, where my family can reset. Comparison only clouds judgement and connection. You are the 5 people you spend the most time with. So choose those people wisely. Your trusted circle is vital to the life you want to live and the person you want to become.
Health & Self-Care
31. Movement is medicine.
32. Your energy follows your focus—be intentional where you place it.
33. Self-care is not selfish. Just because you put others first does not mean you put you last.
34. Sleep + Environment changes everything.
35. You could be one conditioned belief away from a breakthrough.
Health isn’t just about the physical—it’s about mental, emotional, and spiritual wholeness. Movement has always been medicine for me. It was a way for me to decompress. Walking always helped me sift through my anxious thoughts or externally process with a friend. Don’t waste energy on the negative because the more you focus on it the more you will stay there. Self-care has taught me that pouring into myself allows me to pour into others. Environment? Can be the gateway to start creating a lasting change. And Sleep? It changes everything. And sometimes the only thing standing between you and breakthrough is shifting one old belief.
Perspective
36. Life isn’t black and white—it’s about choosing what’s right for your season
The older I get, the more I realize life is not about absolutes. It’s about making choices that fit the season you’re in, letting go of expectations that don’t serve you, and having faith in the God to close + open the doors you are meant to walk through.
These 36 lessons aren’t the end of the story—they’re just markers along the way. They came from places of joy, grief, failure, resilience, love, and everyday life. Some I learned the hard way, some I’m still learning, I’m a work lovely work in progress. Life is full of mountains and valley’s but I would be lying if I said those valley’s didn’t teach me something about those mountaintops and vice versa.
If even one of these resonated with you, I hope you carry it into your own journey. And maybe—just maybe—you’ll take time to reflect on your own list of lessons, too.
Ever feel like your days as a mom are endlessly busy yet leave you drained and unfulfilled, with no real progress to show? Imagine a simple shift that groups similar tasks into focused batches, slashing stress and reclaiming your energy for what truly matters—like family, faith, and self-care. Paired with smart boundaries that shield your time from endless interruptions, this game-changer turns reactive chaos into intentional calm. Practical examples reveal how to batch meals, emails, or errands effortlessly, creating the margin every mom craves for sanity and joy. Dive in to unlock one small weekly challenge that could transform your rhythm forever.
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